2004-12-16

titanium-tadpole.txt

Tadpole is an obvious nickname for me, since Tad is my middle name.
This poem explains why I call myself Titanium Tadpole.

TITANIUM TADPOLE (A Medical Thriller)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My right lung collapsed two times
In 1995.
On the lung was found a bubble
Which was probably a gift of birth.
Like most bubbles,
It inevitably burst,
Causing a deflation of ego
And a month of misery,
Until the affectionately named
University "Death Center"
Stopped giving me cough syrup
And sent me to the hospital
For an X-ray.

Words I never expected came:
"You have a partially collapsed right lung,
And we're admitting you."
There went any plans I had for a while.

Through a small incision in my chest,
I was hooked up to the tube of a vacuum machine
Which sucked out the air and fluid
That had built up outside the collapsed lung.
This caused it to naturally re-expand.

It worked. Once again, I was full of hot air.
The doctor said to me
A chance of one in three
Said that I'd be back for more.

Naturally, he was right.
Take 2!

Re-expansion once again,
And then the fun began.

To find the bad bubble's home
On Terra Inflata,
A cat scan was entailed...
(Sorry, I couldn't resist)...

I always thought a cat scan would be fun.
It's not.
Try telling a cat to stay still for several minutes.
(Sorry, again).

Through more small incisions,
Surgery began.
A cutter-stapler removed that pesky, popping bubble,
And sealed the re-expanded lung shut with titanium staples.

A golf-ball-sized piece of my right lung is now gone,
So, I guess I'll have to pass on your invitation to a game.

Needless to say,
It is a long, breathtaking story.

Thanks to God
For giving me a back-up lung during my crisis.

Thanks also to Dr. Bryan M. Solmos
For making every new day a breath of fresh air.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright © JONATHAN TAD KETCHEN (JTK.CA)
NudeCreations.com


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